


Only old men use puns to liven up conversations

by TheWild



Category: Gintama
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Gender-neutral Reader, puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 11:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15773520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWild/pseuds/TheWild
Summary: A short, sweet fic in which annoying Gintoki is the only goal.





	Only old men use puns to liven up conversations

It was a calm day in the Yorozuya flat- at least now it was, considering Otose had once again almost maimed Gintoki for not paying rent and Kagura had, in some weird dream, almost demolished the cupboard. You, however, didn’t care. You’d just spent the day drinking with Otae- always a bit of a bad idea- and had stumbled inside the house of your favourite silver-haired samurai with tipsy feet and a lightheaded feeling.

And now, you were lying on the couch, while Gintoki was reading some JUMP. Your drunken stupor hadn’t exactly worn off yet- you could still feel the pleasant buzz and the need to drink some beer- but at least you weren’t close to vomiting anymore.

“Hey, have you heard about Otae?” you suddenly say- a slight slur, but your face is smiling lazily and Gintoki can’t help looking up.

“What?”

“Her work was cut short,” you said- staring deeply at the mop of unruly hair on his head.

Gintoki wasn’t an idiot. He knew what you were like drunk- a rambling, giggling mess of puns.

“Stop.”

“Apparently it was because one client had too many condition-ers.”

Your snort following the sentence only assures Gintoki that he guessed right.

“Quite the hairy-“

“No. Stop,” he orders- but he should know by now you only take his orders in the bedroom.

“Should I cut it out?” you smirk, draping yourself a bit more over the couch while Gintoki desperately tries to pretend to read his manga.

“Maybe shave this conversation for later?”

He throws the magazine across the room and sits up.

“Enough.”

“But Gin-chan, I mustache you-“

“You are not mustaching anything, you drunk idiot.”

“But you’re so hair-larious,” you giggle.

“Alright, now you’re not even trying anymore. We’re going to get something to eat so you can sober up.”

“Aren’t you scared I’ll get dye-betes?”

It seems to be the straw that broke the camel’s back as he gets up quite violently and takes a full two, heavy steps towards you- he’s towering over you and puts his hands on both sides of your giggling head.

“You are going to come with me, eat some bananas, drink some orange juice, and we’re going to get you sober, you drunk harlot.”

You’d be entranced by his bedroom eyes and tall figure leaning over you- if only you weren’t too busy trying to get him into focus.

“It seems we’re at a-“ you hiccup and let out another giggle, “split end.”

If Gintoki was the violent type, he would’ve thrown the couch- you can almost see a vein pop when he’s this close.

“Enough.”

“Rest a-sheared, we’ll straighten out this problem.”

“Enough!”

“Are you intimidated by my frocabulary?”

“eNOUGH WITH THE PUNS!”

It’s a hilarious kind of yelling that you’ve often heard before, and you’re sure it can seem somewhat intimidating if you didn’t know Gintoki was a giant softie.

“I want to sleep.”

“Well, I’m so glad _you_ are making the demands here,” he scowls, but your head is bobbing already and you’re only looking at him through half-closed eyes- he’d find it an endearing sight if you hadn’t been annoying him for the past minute.

“It’s not a perm-anent…” you trail off, not really knowing where you’re going with that sentence. Adding that to the fact that you can feel darkness closing in and sleep taking over, your brain was a mess.

“Your stubbornness is truly a gift,” he sighs, sitting down next to you- he lets you lay down your head on his shoulder and one hand is massaging your thigh.

**Author's Note:**

> Needed some cheering up after a very entitled customer came in and basically threatened every employee here. This is just silly writing.
> 
> (I also love puns.)


End file.
